Monday 5 April 2010

'Calling It'-The Elephant in the Room..!

I'm a great believer in candour. Without it the truth struggles to emerge. Yet we are all too often constrained by circumstances and refuse to speak our minds when we know we should. When Coaches talk about 'congruence' this is what is meant. The ability to be oneself in different situations. One of the things I really appreciate about my role as a Leadership Coach is the ability and necessity to sometimes just 'call it' and point to that which is obvious to most and spoken of by none. That's the elephant in the room. When you look at the picture it shows how ridiculously chained to convention and ritual we can become! One of the attractions of going into Business on your own is that this is one less thing to deal with!! We also offer others perspective by allowing them see that seeking permission may not be the only option and many times not the best one either.

Two common causes of this syndrome I find are:

- Fear and Habit

We become so accustomed to routines and ways of doing and thinking that all else is very threatening. Habit can also blind us from our actions and under pressure we may not see this is happening. Often we run patterns. That means in certain situations with certain people we tend to do certain things we are unaware of or would do differently in other circumstances.

Calling the elephant can be 'tough love' as our US brethern call it. The ability to give Feedback and tell it like it is. However if we get used to this practice we grow to rely on it and less dependent on our own limiting behaviours. So next time you're in a meeting, think about doing what many are suffering silently with and bring to attention in a polite and respectful way that perhaps all is not as it appears or could be...........You're Leadership stock will go through the roof!

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