Monday 3 May 2010

Being instead of Doing....

Much of what I see in my own practice tells me there is a conflict between what people are doing and who they are when they're doing it. No wonder so much of people's best work is never seen at work!

In Coaching parlance this is referred to as " how you show up in a given situation" My own noticing is my BEST work is always when I move away from problems and solutions and move onto what people want (to be) rather than what's expected (to do). Otherwise we may become like the picture,unreasonable!

We had a family revelation this week that showed how people suffer silently when this is not named. Someone was doing something because they felt it was expected. Others presumed it was because they wanted to do this activity. The person involved was really 'holding' a false assumption about this and was doing it for others out of a sense of duty. Can you imagine what the commitment to that activity was and how they felt about it. What was said was really interesting, here it is "it wasn't really me doing this at all, it felt like another person..." In a work situation this is when people often seek outside help due to lack of employee commitment! You'd have to ask does God do this just for fun..?!

This post is about celebrating the world of being. In any given situation we ARE someone and that someone matters. Sometimes we like ourselves better than others and much of Coaching's about helping clients BE or BECOME that best version of ourselves. This is really important. In my experience any profound shift and sustained change is unlikely unless work is addressed in this way or at that level.

Too often we're obsessed with 'fixing' especially in the world of work. Problems need solving- get a Coach, a Consultant an Expert. If you really want to see results with your Coach allow BOTH of you focus on Being rather than Doing..........."Who are you in that situation....?" is a powerful question. A reflection of my own is working to tight deadlines with people on certain pieces of work is not always the same as helping clients see clearly who they are in this situation. When this is clear everything flows with a natural ease and it does so quickly!

When we know who we are we automatically become more resourceful. That's where the REAL work is and to paraphrase the wise words of Ken Blanchard author of many of the "One Minute Manager" books "We need to slow down in order to go faster" (Less haste= more speed)

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